A promise given lightly …
is worth nothing.
Yesterday my father confronted me with the promises to work on his site VitaNIT.
Today I’ve also made statements, promises, which I didn’t intend to keep. I caught myself out on a few ones: my brother asked my opinion about a certain idea of his, usually I try not to break enthusiasm by coming down hard on his ideas. This time I did, I told him I saw no future in this idea at the moment, that I would rather pursue one of his other ideas.
Where does time come from?
From saying “no”. From deciding “no”.
I’m already evolved beyond saying yes to all projects. I’ve got a lot going on in my life, but still I’m not handling it in a perfect way. Actually the other day I had insomnia worrying about everything coming together, timewise.
Why? I didn’t say “no” to a customer. To several customers. I did not communicate, and calculate that the requested changes in the requested timeframe with the requested additional budget (of 0) would not be feasible by a third party. I would have to work, and have worked, myself.
Kicking aside other promises, that is.
Thus, a promise given lightly to another party, which I feel bound to oblige (he is after all a customer!) breaks other promises given to people I know I can keep postponing executing the promises. At least until they themselves come down on me (at the cost of one evening of arguing and heated feelings).
I’m insecure in saying “no” to people. Part may come from my upbringing, and my father being very demanding without noticing it himself, part from my genetic and hormonal background. My brother is much tougher than me and he’s had the same parents.
Disappointing people
For me, it’s about holding promises. I really try to be an honest and reliable person. To everyone.
I’ve introduced systems of organisation which helped me speed up searching and storing of files, of bills and other things.
I’ve started working together with other freelancers, giving tasks to them. And catching them if they fall – work left unfinished would be done by me.
Many customers know no bounds and do not know about the time, knowledge and effort necessary to produce a certain result.
Often their budget is not sufficient to realise exactly what they have in mind. Often they try to reason, if I do this job for them on a budget, they’ll recommend me, and I’ll also get other jobs from them. On a budget. Again.
Disappointing other people is not easy, for me it’s not. But it’s better done upfront in a nice and friendly manner, than being in a temper about promises made to the customer, stealing family and own free time.
Do you know the guilt when you enjoy a movie instead of working? If it’s a movie every other week?
Then, my friend, I think we have something in common. And the two of us need to adjust our work styles.
